Unsubscribe

(A conversation about hips, periods, and other things women never signed up for)

Yesterday I had a private yoga session with a fabulous student.

You know the kind — curious, thoughtful, the kind of person who asks questions that make a class turn into a real conversation instead of just a workout.

We started talking about tight hips.

If you’ve ever taken yoga, Pilates, barre, or strength training with me, you’ve heard me say it before:

women tend to struggle with tight hips and irritated IT bands.

Part of that is simply structural.

Most women have a wider pelvis relative to the knees, creating a greater Q-angle (the angle between the hip and knee). That angle can place more tension through the IT band, especially if we’re sitting a lot, running, cycling, or just living modern life.

Which is why foam rollers exist.

Which is why pigeon pose exists.

Which is why sometimes we are lying on the floor questioning every life choice while digging into a knot in our hip.

Naturally, this led to the next logical question:

Why do we even have these wide hips anyway?

The answer, of course, is biological.

Childbirth.

Evolution built female bodies with a wider pelvic structure to allow a baby to pass through the birth canal.

Which led us to the next thought:

Neither of us are planning on having children.

So… why are we walking around with this architectural feature that seems primarily designed to make our IT bands cranky?

And from there we spiraled into what I think might be the best question I’ve asked in a long time.

If we’re not having children… why do we still have to experience periods?

And then we both came to the same conclusion.

If the human body had a settings menu, we would absolutely be hitting:

UNSUBSCRIBE.

Unsubscribe from monthly bleeding.

Unsubscribe from cramps.

Unsubscribe from hormonal rollercoasters.

Unsubscribe from the mysterious hip tightness that appears the second we turn 35.

Unsubscribe from bras.

Unsubscribe from shaving things we never asked to grow hair in the first place.

Unsubscribe from the expectation that we smile more.

Unsubscribe from anti-aging marketing that implies we’re expired dairy products after 40.

Unsubscribe from pretending we enjoy wearing uncomfortable shoes.

Unsubscribe from apologizing for taking up space.

Don’t get me wrong — the female body is powerful, complex, resilient, and capable of incredible things.

But sometimes it feels like we were handed a subscription package that includes a lot of features we didn’t actively sign up for.

And honestly?

I think women should be allowed to talk about that.

To laugh about it.

To question it.

To compare notes.

So I’m curious.

If you could unsubscribe from one “female feature”… what would it be?

Periods?

Hormonal mood swings?

Underwire bras?

The societal expectation that women should somehow be effortlessly beautiful at all times?

Drop it in the comments.

Let’s build the Unsubscribe List.

Because if enough of us say it out loud, maybe someday someone will invent the settings menu.